


What Could Have Been

by wordsmithraven



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, F/M, Intimacy, Romance, Sensuality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-23
Updated: 2017-10-23
Packaged: 2019-01-21 17:32:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12462516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordsmithraven/pseuds/wordsmithraven
Summary: Sometimes Robbie thought about things he shouldn't. Sometimes he thought about a life he could've lived if only things were different. Maybe Daisy thought about that too?





	What Could Have Been

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little oneshot I felt like writing. I'm trying to get into these two characters' heads for a longer fic and thought I'd start with something simple from Robbie's POV.
> 
> I'll keep working on them.
> 
> Let me know your thoughts. :)
> 
> PS. If you're following me from my Shadowhunters fics, you'll notice I have a thing for nighttime bedroom reveries. I just find them super intimate and I like to use them for couple oneshots. Sue me. lmao

The night was quiet, not even a police siren outside. Tranquility was a rare thing for this part of LA and Robbie wasn’t sure if he liked it. He shifted slightly on the bed, muscles going tense with anxiety.

There was a murmur next to him and he glanced over to see Daisy shifting in her sleep. He grinned. She’d probably sensed his muscles shifting, their vibrations changing frequency as they tightened. She was always tuned to him like that. It’s what made them so damn good together...in more ways than one.

He carefully reached out a hand and ran a finger over her cheek, brushing her hair back behind her ear. It was longer than when they’d met. She was growing it out again. In the dark of the room, he could just make out a healing cut on her cheek from some fucker who’d tagged her in the fight they’d joined that night dealing justice to some scumbags. It was right beneath the thin, white scar that was already there from a scrap she must’ve fallen into long before they’d met. He bet she’d kicked their ass then too.

Robbie's grin turned sharper.

He rolled back into his pillow and folded an arm under his head as he stared up at his stationary ceiling fan. They were just coming up to winter and the room was still chilled. He didn’t really feel it though. Not with a spirit of fire hiding inside him.

His eyes shuttered.

He’d been away from home for quite a few months this time, hiding the Darkhold where hopefully no one else would find it and chasing demons in other worlds where physics didn’t make sense. Not that he was an expert in any of that, anyway. Though his travels and the dark whispers from the monster inside him were quickly filling him in on the score.

Daisy had been swept up in some mess too. The whole SHIELD crew had been taken off world a few months before, according to the little Daisy had told him. Robbie was still fuzzy on the details. He’d seen on the news that SHIELD was on the brink of collapse again. Robbie held back a snort. That seemed to be their usual M.O. as far as he could tell.

Daisy hadn’t been exactly forthcoming. She’d just shown up the day before with a backpack over her shoulder and said they’d all had to split up in order to lay low. Her voice had been shaking and her eyes had been red like she’d been crying. Rage had swept through him at the sight but with no enemy in sight, Robbie had been forced to tamp it down.

They’d both gotten in some much needed fist therapy on some lowlife Watchdogs that night and before he’d really known it, they’d gotten in some sexual healing too.

It was something he’d felt building between them a long time but he’d held off. The year before he hadn’t been right and she hadn’t been ready. No matter how much he’d wanted her, it would’ve broken something between them to go after her then. The time apart had been good for her, at least.

Not so good for him. The long months with the Rider taking over, killing and maiming. Going places he never fathomed existed. It had been the worst months of his life. The only thing getting him through had been the possibility of coming home to Gabe...to her. Seeing her walk up to him in that warehouse, all black leather and silver jewelry, had been like drinking at an oasis in the deep desert. Then he’d had to leave again to take care of the Darkhold and he’d been reminded of his life now.

Gabe hadn’t been happy with any of it. Not the leaving and not the coming back, even. He grew more stubborn and disapproving the more times it happened. Robbie wasn’t sure how to fix it between them.

“He just needs more time,” Daisy had told him the day before as they drove in his car to where she’d gotten word some Watchdogs had holed up. “He’s just...scared. You’re the only family he has left.”

It wasn’t anything he didn’t know. It still cut Robbie up that he couldn’t make it better, though. Gabe had to accept that there was no way to make it like it was before. Before the devil inside Robbie had changed everything. Before their _tío_ had taken everything from them both.

Once, maybe...he’d had a chance once. His first deal had still had a little wiggle room. A finish line waiting at the end of the race. He’d lost that when he had made the decision to save Mack and take the spirit of vengeance into himself indefinitely. He had no regrets but he couldn't help but wonder how many years it would take to settle the score of an immortal being? Robbie was locked into the ride forever if the Rider decided.

He didn’t think Gabe would ever forgive him.

It was hard to think about some days. It was hard to think of anything but the fight with the demon inside him.

_Kill...burn...pieces of shit...What’s that? Do you smell it? Can’t you see?_

Robbie twitched.

_They’re all guilty!! Burn ‘em!!! Kill them! Kill! Kill!! Kill!!!_

He squeezed his eyes shut. He’d started thinking about him. It was always easier for him to surface when Robbie started thinking of him.

_Don’t like me here, do you, Rob-o? Too bad! You made a promise. Every one of them burns!_

‘I got it,’ Robbie thought tiredly. ‘I got it.’

Daisy hitched a breath and shivered. With Robbie’s attention drawn to her, the Rider sank back below the surface some. She rolled over, still asleep. Before he could move, her arm was thrown over his chest and she was snuggling into his armpit. Her nose scrunched up and she sneezed. His chest shook with his suppressed laughs and he carefully pulled her head up and slid his arm down from his head to cradle her neck. She pressed even closer into his warmth, bare breasts sliding across his lower ribs, and she threw a leg over him for good measure.

He tracked a calloused hand down her sleek side, stopping at her hip. He used his other hand to pull the thin comforter up over them both until most of their bodies were covered. It was too hot for him. He was burning inside already and the quilt made it a furnace. Daisy sighed contentedly at the cocoon, and Robbie closed his eyes and bore it.

Sometimes he wondered what life would be like if he was normal. If he’d never died and made that cursed deal. Gabe wasn’t the only one.

Life might’ve been good. Money would’ve been tight, as usual, but at least his brother would’ve never been scared of him...never been disappointed in him.

Then again, maybe it would’ve been worse.

What if he’d never found out what Eli had done? What if he’d never been able to stop him? Eli was ready to destroy all of L.A.--the whole _world_ \--to remake himself into a god. Maybe Robbie would’ve been dead either way and Gabe with him.

The Rider gave him access to something powerful. Something to stop a god in the making. Enough to do what's needed to stop a different kind of evil from plaguing his streets.

If he had to let a little of that evil inside him to protect everyone he cared about and the world besides, then so be it.

Still...what if?

If he had been just a mechanic working to put food on the table and keep his family together, would he have even met Daisy?

He wasn’t really sure. SHIELD had already been on the trail of Lucy even before they’d met. They likely would have gotten to Eli Morrow’s family soon enough.

Maybe Daisy would have overlooked him. Just another part of her investigation. 

Or maybe they could’ve had something different. Something regular like one of those stupid movies where the guy and the girl settle down, make it work. His little brother alongside them.

Or maybe not.

Daisy didn’t strike him as that kind of apple pie girl, either.

Daisy stiffened suddenly and her eyebrows pulled together. She jerked a little, caught in some bad dream. He tried to brush her head to soothe her but it was too late. She gasped and snapped her eyes open instead.

She struggled up, confused.

“Hey,” he said as he looked down at her. He cupped her neck, let his thumb slide over her cheek, and brought her face to look at him. “Hey, _chica_ , you’re with me. You’re with me.”

She was stiff for a second longer as her eyes adjusted. He saw the spark of recognition in the moonlight and she relaxed a little. He could still feel her heartbeat pounding where his fingers brushed along her pulse.

“Fuck,” she whispered. “ _Fuck!_ ”

He smirked a little. “Again?”

She narrowed her eyes. “Don’t be a wise-ass.”

His smirk turned into a smile. She rolled her eyes and flopped back down onto his chest.

His bad joke had worked, though. She was already coming down from her fear induced adrenaline rush. She shivered again in the cold and he pulled the quilt back up over her.

“What are you doing awake?” she asked as she pulled her hand across his shoulder.

“Nothing.”

She snorted. “Driving yourself in circles, I bet.”

He stayed silent.

“Gabe will come around. He was already halfway there when you were all ghostly with Coulson and Fitz. He’d calmed down a lot by the end of it.”

She brushed her hair from her face.

“It’s probably me that’s pissed him off this time. Maybe he hates me again.”

Robbie rubbed his hand up and down her back and said, “He doesn’t hate you.”

“I’m pretty sure he didn’t really like me dragging you out to beat up a bunch of thugs.”

Robbie tilted his head. “You got me there.”

He heard the siren of an ambulance racing down his street, the emergency lights flashing through his windows. The quiet of the neighborhood gone just like that. Back to business as usual. He looked over to his nightstand and saw it was nearly five in the morning already. They’d both only had a couple of hours of rest.

He was pulled back to the conversation when Daisy sighed dejectedly.

He gave her hip a squeeze. “Gabe never hated you, Daisy. Not really. You guys are just...too much alike.”

Daisy pulled her head up incredulously. “In what way?”

He poked her in the side. “Stubborn, bossy, know-it-all nerds who like to tell me what to do all the time.”

She scoffed. “I am not a nerd.”

He gave her a look. “You’re a _hacker_ , girl.”

She pressed her lips together, flipped her hair back, and shoved a fist into his side. He grunted at the playful blow.

“I’m a badass,” she said sternly.

He laughed. “Yes, ma’am.”

She huffed in offense and rolled away from him onto her back. His arm was pulled out with her movement and the back of her neck settled on his bicep as her head rested on a pillow.

“I don’t know...I’ve never dated somebody with still living family before. It’s all new for me.”

Robbie stiffened. Then Daisy stiffened.

“Sorry,” she said contritely.

“No, it’s...it’s fine. I just…”

He felt her turn her head to look at him.

“Too much?”

“No, that ain’t it.” He paused. “‘Dating.’ It’s just a funny way to put it.”

She shrugged. “Well, you’re possessed by a vengeance demon and I’m an earthshaking semi-vigilante on the run from the law. We beat the shit out of assholes together and then fuck. With me, that’s pretty much what most of my major relationships have been like recently.”

He went silent again.

“Do you ever think about living the other way?” he asked suddenly.

“What? The white, picket fence life?”

He shrugged, uncomfortable.

Daisy didn’t say anything for such a long time he thought maybe she wouldn’t answer. Robbie started kicking himself, feeling like such a sappy shit. He never should’ve brought it up at all.

He heard the Rider chuckling darkly at his embarrassment. _Great_ , he thought. _Even the hell demon thinks I’m an idiot._

“Sometimes I dream about my parents,” Daisy said into the dark night, her voice soft and breaking. “I dream about growing up in Milwaukee, a midwestern girl. Mom cooking in the kitchen and dad dancing with me standing on his feet.”

She shook her head. “I don’t know…”

Daisy hadn’t told him all that much about her past. He’d picked up on a few things here and there. Things the others sometimes talked about that he didn’t always understand and some things Daisy herself had let slip. It all had sounded like some real bad shit, to be honest. Robbie wondered if that was what she’d been dreaming about before she woke.

“She was just like your uncle, my mom. She thought the only way to make things better was to tear everything down. I guess they both lost themselves.”

He didn’t say anything. He thought she was being generous. It might have started that way for his uncle but in the end, Robbie hadn’t seen anything but a megalomaniac monster. It was hard to be as gracious when you had carbon spikes shoved through your chest and your family had been the one to put them there.

He’d never been the merciful type anyway and with the Rider inside him, all he’d been able to feel at the end was an overwhelming need for justice and retribution.

Robbie shrugged.

Daisy sighed and reached up to tangle her fingers with his. He let her play with his hand and waited.

“Your uncle...he wasn’t a bad guy he just...the Darkhold messed him up. It’s okay to forgive him, you know.”

“That’s not really in me.”

“I don’t believe you.”

He tensed and tightened his fingers around hers. “That’s enough, _chica_.” He didn’t want to talk about this anymore.

She sighed again and went quiet. He wasn’t fooled, though. Just like he’d told her earlier, he knew she was the stubborn type. Once she’d latched onto something, she rode it to the very end. Robbie knew the topic would come up again. Still, she knew him well. They’d had a rough start but she’d quickly caught onto his moods. She knew when it was time to push and when to pull.

Which is why he wasn’t surprised when she jerked up, threw aside the comforter, and swung a leg over to straddle him. His hands automatically fell to her hips.

“Would you even have liked me all ‘American Girl,’ anyway?” she said, rocking forward.

They were back to their previous conversation, somehow the topic of ‘dating’ becoming safer territory.

He smirked, happy to go with it.

“I don’t know. I’ve always been a little into the goody two shoes type.”

She rolled her hips over him and his grip tightened. He dug his thumbs into the little dips above her thighs. She was hard muscle all over most of her body--the mark of a warrior--but there were a few places that were pillow-y and soft. He ran his hands down her thighs and around to her ass. He felt it jiggle as she moved faster and more firmly over him. He could feel a different kind of heat rising and she could too.

“No way,” she said as she gasped, her breath picking up.

He bit his lip and sat up into her, pushing her back as he wrapped an arm secure around her waist. He buried his face in the side of her neck and licked a line up to her ear, scraping his goatee over her silk skin.

“I like it when I make ‘em bad,” he whispered and bit softly at her ear.

She groaned, low and rich, then gripped the back of his neck tight. He could feel her getting wet above him and her musky scent rose to fill the air.

“I guess you’re disappointed you got to me so late, then,” she panted. She scratched her short, blunt nails down his back. “Not enough left for you to corrupt.”

Something in her voice, some weight that hadn’t fully taken shape, made him freeze. He pulled back to look at her, eyes catching hers. The smile on her face faltered and her gaze wavered.

“I was joking,” he said slowly. “You’re not.”

He peered as deeply into her as possible without exposing her soul to his demonic stare. He didn’t need the Rider to unpack her, anyway. He’d always been able to see her.

She slowed her rocking motion. While his body didn’t appreciate his new line of questioning, Robbie didn’t back down.

She finally looked away. “I know. I- I don’t know why I said that.”

He let go of a slow breath.

“You were never bad, Daisy.”

It was true. From the first time he’d met her. Back then she had been in so much agony and despair, serving penance for a crime she thought she couldn’t escape. He’d searched hard for some evil in her past, something to justify feeding her to the Rider but he hadn’t found anything. Even at her lowest...at her most vengeful, she had been pure light. So good that the beast inside him had turned away.

He rubbed his fingers across her turned away face and caught a single tear before it could leave her eye.

“The pain,” he said softly. “I guess there’s still a little left, huh?”

She did that half smile, half grimace she did so well. “I guess,” she said.

Then she kissed him, hard and longing. His mouth fell open beneath her searching tongue and he clutched at her waist again, letting the conversation drop. He’d said as much as he could. As much as she would allow.

When he was inside her moments later, pulling fast and strong into her as she made little gasping whimpers into his mouth, he thought he’d never felt more at home. Not in a long time. He’d wandered through hell for so long, he’d forgotten what heaven felt like. It felt like the taste of sweat on his tongue and the scratch of fingers along his back. It felt like someone who opened her arms to hold him even when he was on fire. Someone who could brave the heat because she’d been through the flames before too.

When he came shuddering above her and heart pounding in his ears so loud it drowned out the voice inside him, he was thankful that he knew this her, after all. Not the her before they’d met or out of some perfect, what-could-have-been fantasy. He knew the her _now_. The her in his arms and in his head and in his heart.

The her who knew him too.


End file.
